The Ball

No romantic hotel rooms, no proposals, no mind-blowing kisses - meaning nothing overly exciting.

I decided to go without a date since I was part of the organizing team and I wanted to be able to mingle around. Bringing a date outside of the company didn't seem like a good idea since I would've had to pay him too much attention so he wouldn't feel lonely.

I was looking around, sipping champagne, making sure who had already arrived and what were they up to. And then I spotted William. He was talking to our colleague but right next to them were some of the girls I knew. Most naturally I went there to chat with the girls, standing right next to William. Soon enough I was engaged in both conversation - the one with the girls and the one with him and the colleague.

After the colleague left he made some compliments to the girls but then suggested we'd step aside so we could chat better. He bought me a drink and a truffle. So I went from champagne and people-watching to Martini and William-watching. Unfortunately I had some duties so after a quite a long talk we went our separate ways.

There were hundreds of people there and we both had a lot of people to talk to so we didn't get any more time for ourselves. Some people have become a little suspicious about him openly favoring me anyway so maybe it was for the best. This also means neither of us kept the promise to dance with the other.

As I was strolling around, stopping here and there for chats and cheers, I greeted one of my colleagues. As William had left rather early, this young man became my companion for the rest of the night. So why don't we call him the Ball Boy for now. 'Where are you heading?' he asked me after I smiled at him with a nod. 'Nowhere, just wondering around. You?' I asked back. 'The same. I'll walk with you to the other side,' he told me.

As we were perambulating through the hallway, I asked him where his companion was since I knew he had a girlfriend. Instead of saying she was at home as had said the last guy I asked, he pointed at me: 'Right here.' I just smiled in silence, flattered yet not knowing what to say since we've never had exactly too close of a relationship.

Soon enough we were standing next to the dance floor, chatting away. He, too, offered to buy me a drink. Why would I ever say no to a Martini served by a charming gentleman? We talked mostly about work and politics. We even made some work related agreements. And then he finally asked me to dance.

After the dance we kept on chatting. Then it was time for the cake and Calvados so we joined others. From there on we hung around in a bigger group, drinking Calvados and having some good laughs. When there was only half an hour left until the end of the ball I decided that only one dance throughout the whole night most certainly will not do for me.

The Ball Boy is rather tall and I was wearing unusually low-heeled shoes so I rose to my tiptoes and asked him quietly if it could be my turn to ask him to dance. He obviously liked spending time with me since he hadn't left my side since that first chat but the eager way he said 'yes' was still a delight.

Another song passed after that one when he suggested we should dance some more. 'Let's use the last minutes to the fullest,' he said with a smile. So we stayed on the dance floor until the last song was played and the party was over.

Our dancing was more like bringing the weight from one leg to the other and slightly turning the same time but being really close while doing so. As I said, he was rather tall and I had only 4-5cm heels. Meaning I couldn't see over his shoulder. I did look to the sides every now and then but it was actually kind of comforting to just stare at his chest and feel his hand caressing my back. This way it felt like it was just the music and us - I knew that others were there, too, but they weren't in my focus at all.

After the ball a lot of people went to a night club to have an after-party. We had missed the time where free tickets were handed out so I got two from an elderly couple who had took the tickets but now had decided to go home instead. One for me and one for the Ball Boy. He got us a cab and to the club we went.

The party sucked. The music was awful, the people hideous. There was someone driving his direction so the Ball Boy went home quite soon, thanking me for a wonderful night. I think I left around fifteen or twenty minutes after him. I haven't seen him since but we have changed a couple of work related e-mails. Fortunately no awkwardness between us.

So, as I said in the beginning, nothing overly exciting. Yet I enjoyed the night. I'm also going to see what's the deal with the Ball Boy. He had made me a compliment about looking very beautiful just the night before the ball so maybe his interest in me wasn't just a breeze. If so, I'll probably encourage it. Wouldn't be like me not to, right?


Love,

Passion

Random Men: The Young Lawyer

I'm still not sure about giving him a name but I hope it will get a bit more clear in the next few days. He did come to pick me up last night - just before midnight so I was like Cinderella running from the class reunion. While driving back to town we did chat but he kept his eyes on the road.

Back in town we first went to an old ski jump tower waiting for the season. We climbed up the wooden stairs and took a seat for a chat and a cigarette. It was dark and there were old pines all around the tower but over them we had a magnificent view of the lighted town.

We then drove to the other end of the town and took a walk on a long pier. It was dark but the sky was filled with stars, the city lights were shining over the bay and the sound of waves was calming.

Our next stop was a belvedere in the Old Town. A view over the medieval city, snacking on grapes and bananas, all spiced with bass heard from night clubs. Well, the last one wasn't exactly pleasing but it did become part of the memory.

He then drove me home. It was around half past two. We had our last cigarettes and then he escorted me to the gate and gave me hug, saying 'See you tomorrow'. I smiled with a 'You're my hero,' referring to him rescuing me from the party.

The fact he still wanted to meet me the next day was a good thing, right? Yes, it was.

He called me a bit after noon today, asking if I was already awake. I was in my deepest dreams when the phone rang but did I tell him that? No, I'm all up! was what I said. You're not made of sugar, are you? he asked hopefully. It was raining but I let him know I had rubber boots so no worry. He told me he'd be here in a bit less than an hour.

We perambulated for an hour and a half in the Old Town, sharing an umbrella. Our walk found it's ending in a nice little café. The season of hot toddy has definitely arrived so we had some. We ended up chatting for hours.

He walked me home around six o'clock. As we were approaching my house he asked if I was willing to go out with him later in the night. I was just about to say 'Yes, if you're asking', but he beat me to it saying 'If I ask you nicely.'

So I got a hug and a 'See you later' on the gate again. He went home for a nap since he was tired but I'm waiting for him to call any time soon.

The fact he still wanted to meet me later in the night is a good thing, right?

Love,

Passion

Just for The Record

A few words of 'em all.

Peter. I haven't seen him since August but that's only because I haven't wanted to see him. He keeps on texting and calling every now and then but I keep making excuses such as not having time, being busy etc. Last weekend I was at the Uni again, and as it turned out Peter was giving a workshop in the same town on Saturday. He asked me a few days earlier about accommodation there but I told him that my school's dorm is probably full and suggested a few places far away from there. Friday night I was out with my friends when he suddenly called. My first thought? Noooooooo, I have to invite him out now! I was in luck, he didn't ask about my whereabouts at all. He wanted to know how to get to my school's dorm from the main building. Damn! He was in the same building as me for the weekend. He so invaded my territory. AND he was literally neighbours with John. He then called me on Monday. I was at a meeting so I told him to call later. He didn't. Then he sent me a text on Wednesday about being sick for the last couple of days and promising to contact me on Thursday. The reason for wanting to meet me? His soul needs the touch of my feminine irony and charm. His words, not mine. Oh so cheesy.

John. I have a lot to tell you. This needs a separate post. But just so you know what to expect, we've had quite some alone time with him. Drunk and sober, intercourse and no intercourse, here and there. He's tells me he wants to be with me on one moment and panicks about the age difference on the other. I have told him that I don't trust him and that I have nothing against spending time with him but I won't be expecting anything from him. And that's true. I like to be with him but I stopped dreaming about a mutual future quite some time ago. The funny thing is he has barely contacted me this week and I have barely noticed. And now during writing this post I received a text message from him. Love has come over me again :) Ok. So. What do you want me to say? When I don't know what to say or just don't want to answer I like to respond with questions. This time? It goes in cycles alike with economy for you?

Carl. We've found a mutual fondness for vampires. He, too, goes in cycles, I think. Every now and then he gets really enthusiastic and suggests going to the movies some time. This one weekend he even wanted to come over to make movies-food-wine night at my place. I was really busy that night so instead I invited him to a concert I was helping to organise. He liked it and we had fun. We went to dinner with the festival crowd after the concert and then he gave me a cab ride home. That's about it.

Mark. No news. Haven't talked much lately. My brother is a trainee at the company he works in at the moment. Thanks to him for that!

William. I saw him on Tuesday. The first time I saw him after that kiss. We were at the same event and he called a little after the start but I shut the phone off and sent him a text about the first talker already being on. A couple of hours later the event was over. When we finally got to each other through the crowd I greeted him with a hug. He hugged me back and gave me a kiss on my temple. He also had something to give me. It was a wooden box. I went through hell trying to open it at home but when I finally did, it was worth it. Sorry girls, no pearls or diamonds. Just a bottle of good wine.

Random men. I've been e-mailing with this young lawyer for past couple of weeks. Just chatting about the matters of the world, all through irony and friendly sarcasm. He seems smart and funny. I asked from a mutual friend about him and she told me nothing but good of him. A couple of days ago he asked me about my weekend plans. I told him I was attending a school reunion Friday night but don't have any other plans for the rest of the weekend. He proposed going on a walk. I like walks, I told him. This morning we exchanged numbers via Windows Live. I told him a little about the reunion I was having tonight. I told him I'm not exactly too eager to go - not that I don't want to be with the people there but it's being held at a place about 50 miles out of town which means I have to stay overnight. I prefer sleeping at home. And he told me he could come and pick me up if it got too bad. He's really cute. I hope he becomes worthy of having a name instead of being a random man.

Hoochie Friday

Two weeks ago Friday I attended a birthday party. It was held out of town so after buying a nice metal box and changing some money into coins for the present to be a treasure (he had requested something that fits in an envelope if you know what I mean) my friend Lisa and I got in her car and took off.

The theme of the party was Truckers and Hookers. Damn was I hot! Lisa has a thing about wearing unconventional outfits so she refused to be neither. She's not very outgoing either so considering the fact we both only knew each other and the B-Day Boy I had no other chance but to stay by her side. Which meant I didn't get to mingle a lot, either. At least I got to know most of the guys while going out for a cigarette - the girls inside didn't dig us as the intruders that much, 'tho.

Lisa didn't want to stay over night so I agreed to leave around midnight since I had to get back home to let my brother who was in town and was going to stay at my place in. That obviously did not happen. I was having fun and wanted to get to know more people. And the B-Day Boy asked me to stay.

Lisa left half past midnight when they were awarding the best costumes and such. But after that was when the party actually started - that's when it got from drinking and chatting to drinking and dancing. I ignored the awful mustache the B-Day Boy had glued on when he smiled at me and reached out his hand with a 'may I?'.

So we danced. And then we danced some more. We danced close. He twirled me. And then he pulled me back in. We had a few cigarette and drink breaks and the guests wanted some of his attention, too, of course. But then we danced some more. He pulled me in close. Very close. And then he whispered in my ear 'I am going to kiss you soon, did you know that?'. 'I know,' I replied with a smile. He looked a little disappointed. 'Well, in that case I'll wait for a better song.'

A good fifteen seconds later he kissed me. His lips were soft and tender. He varied from gentle to passionate. Just the way I like it. 'Too impatient to wait for the next song, aren't we,' I said with a smirk. A 'yes' was all he could mumble before diving back in. When it came to smooching, we were a match - we used pretty much the same technique so the synergy was great.

We had been dancing and twirling and kissing for hours when at one point he took me by the hand and headed towards the hostel part of the building. The doors were open for a number of rooms so the sleepy guests could go right to bed and pay in the morning. We entered one of the empty rooms and I locked it from the inside.

I wasn't wearing a bra and my dress was on the floor before I could even notice. That's when the difficulties started. 'How can I get your panties off but leave the stockings and the holder on?' This meant I had to unhook the stockings, let him remove the panties and then hook it all up again, since, you know, 'you look hot in them' works almost as well as 'please'.

Everything seemed to be going smoothly. Oh, and he had removed his mustache long before our first kiss on the dance floor. He planted kisses all over my biggest and most sensitive organ - the skin. He fondled my breasts and caressed my body. He then finally put the male and female puzzle pieces together, the Lego pieces got attached, the Barbie and Ken.. well, they can't really do anything so that metaphore won't go. To make the short story I tend to make long back to short again, he entered me.

Still waiting for the part were the difficulties continue? Well, this is it. As it turned out, he had had just about enough alcohol to still think r a t h e r clear and walk r a t h e r straight but yet have some manly bits not in the best order. It wasn't completely out of order but exactly not functioning either so he tried a bit more but then we agreed to meet another time and be sober.

So we got dressed and back to the main room were only a few dancers were left - everyone else had either left, gone to sleep or were in the sauna. We decided to go to sleep, too, since the first train which I planned to get on was to go in about two hours. When we finally got past the chatting part and making him understand my need for some sleep before leaving it was already a bit after 5 o'clock in the morning. The alarm was set to 5:45.

When I got up it was impossible to awake him. He finally mumbled a 'bye' through sleep and so I took off. I missed the train since I got lost on my way but fortunately the next one came in fifteen minutes. I got home a bit before 8 o'clock. My roommate had let my brother in around 4:30 when I woke her up by calling her and asking her to do it. She's my angel!

Around noon (I was still asleep) I got a call from the B-Day Boy. He told me about their morning of cleaning an packing and told me he would be contact soon. A couple of days later he let me know via Windows Live that he is thinking about when to ask me out. I told him to let me know when ever he gets the thinking part over with. We have had a few chats since then and it seems we are both rather busy these days. If he asks me, I don't have anything against going out with him. If he doesn't.. well, his loss. :)

BRB

The past month has been absolutely crazy work wise and the next two weeks will be even worse. Meaning The Mark Story will have to wait a little more to be finished. 'Tho it hasn't exactly ended yet so 'finish' is not the right word to use.. Let's say it will take a bit of time before I can get it up to date here.

Just a quick review on the men lately:

John is on a business trip this week. We have had a few IM chats via Skype and things are more than normal. No pain hidden in our words, nothing like that. Just plain friendly talkin' on daily subjects and life philosophy and other blabla as such.

Peter I've heard nothing of for a couple of weeks - the last time he called me I told him I was busy and he asked me if there was any point of contacting me before the end of the busy time (in the middle of October) and I said 'no'. Hopefully he forgets and won't contact me at all, I just don't like to be mean and reject anyone yet I don't want to go out with him either.

Mark is being so Mark. We have a few MSN chats weekly and the last weekend he even called me and tried to convince me to go out clubbing with him. And then he forgot the Skype call on so I overheard him talking to his friend about me. That's a part of The Mark Story and will come soon.

And then there are the Random men as I have labelled them. There are a few that aren't actually that random at all since I associate with them daily but anything too interesting hasn't happened.

There is one young boy who is pretty much the male me - we act the same, we think the same, we like the same. 'Tho I like it a lot I can still feel his youth. He is a lot more mature than other boys of his age but he still lacks experience and tact and is a bit immature time to time. We get along extremely well. The first few days after we met there was some intense flirting but then we discovered that we understand each other so well we can come to each other with our deepest worries. So we're more like fiduciaries than anything else to one another. The flirt hasn't really gone anywhere but it's not spicy anymore, I'd rather call it ineluctable since we are both irresistable, haha. But I'd still like to give him a name and his own label, too. The young boy will be known as Carl from here on.

And then there is the man I've paired up at work for the busy times. When around others we act all normal - that means very very friendly since everyone has understood we get along more than well. But when we're going around doing our thing.. well, let's just say the heat is hot. Our flirt is so very assertive and I think that's exactly what we like about each other - the confidence and the wit. And yet it's not sexy and seducive but rather attractive and trusting - and strangely natural. Very weird. And again, I love the fact he's a man of experience, I can sense it with every cell in my body. Even 'tho the chances of things staying just platonic are high I would still like to name him, too. Everybody, let's welcome William to the bunch.

I will probably never change. Short posts are just impossible to achieve.


Love,

Passion

Pending

Before I start the Wedding Weekend story (which I shall try my best to make short), I just have to mention something. By the four-days-theory, Peter was supposed to contact me today (Saturday). He already broke the new rule. He contacted me yesterday which was a day early. AND today, too.

Instead of telling you about the whole wedding (which was so very beautiful) I'll just go straight to the subject of men. I have already told you about my way to pick some guy out at any event and then start the hunt. I knew the wedding is not going to be a very big one so I assumed there will be two kind of men - half will be my relatives and the other half taken. And all the rest are just ugly. I was right.

I thought it would be a good idea to find some single eyecandy since the opposite would have been too much of a risk. I found one very cute guy who looked rather young but the wavy surfer hair and bright blue eyes assured me that wouldn't matter since hey, it's not like I wanted to marry him. He had noticed me, too, and we had a nice little eye contact thing going on. Aaand then he walked by with his hand around his girlfriend whose date he was at the wedding. That didn't exactly stop him from continuing the eye contact thingie with me. I found it amusing and gave him a shrewd grin whenever he dit it, but crossed him of my list for anything more.

Then there was the photographer. He was cute. He had a cute German accent. The wedding itself was very multicultural, I suppose, since a lot of guests were from different countries like Canada, Germany etc so the two main languages were our native tongue and English. So, back to the photographer. He hadn't noticed me at first but grew to like me after the photoshoot of guests for the wedding album. He, too, tried making eye contact plus he had the advantage of watching people through the camera. As I said, he was rather cute, but I think he maybe had had too much of that famous German lager since he had already developed a beer belly. He was very attentive and sincere but that was exactly why I didn't want to pursue anything romantic with him - I recognized the type to fall easily in him and I guess I agreed with the voice of my conscience that it really would not be a nice thing to hurt him.

And then there was Mark. Oh, I really want to write about him but the thing is, if I want to make it short, I wouldn't get everything said. If I got everything said, it would be too long. So I'll just stop here and start with him in the next post dedicated to him alone. By the way, in the first post after the wedding I promised the wedding weekend story to come soon and was hoping that things have maybe become more interesting by that time. They have, indeed.

To be continued.

Love,

Passion

Still amused

Thursday 13th was a rather busy day. I had a few workshops, some meetings and a birthday to attend. I didn't hear from Peter until around eight or nine in the evening but I had just got home from the last workshop and the birthday was still ahead. That's what I told him, too, and he was actually relieved. A friend of his was celebrating his birthday also so they had made quick plans to go to a concert - a cantata performed by an orchestra, different choirs and ballet dancers. He assumed they would probably chat a bit after the peformance and assured me he would call afterwards.

The birthday was a small gathering with around ten people in the Birthday Girl's apartment. Good pasta, cake, a fireplace, an angry cat and a lot of alcohol and even more humor would be the keywords of the event. As I said, the company wasn't exactly too big to choose from but I always like to seek out the cutest and/or the smartest and/or the funniest and/or the most charming men in the bunch to keep me fom boredom. Even if I don't have any evil plans with them I at least like to have some eyecandy, a bonnie. So, as usually, I picked one out there, too.

At first, I just 'happened' to go to the kitchen for a cigarette at the same time as he. The first few times we smoked in silence but with each round we started talking more and eventually listening to him with a tilted head, know-it-all-smile and anime eyes paid off - he was the one following me for a smoke from there on, and back in the living room I noticed the way he couldn't take his eyes off me. When I caught his eyes he didn't turn away; instead he smiled a friendly smile with a devilish twist to it. Naturally, I returned it.

It was around midnight when Peter called and suggested we'd meet somewhere but I was having fun and had no interest in leaving. It would've been impolite to turn him down, too, so I talked to the B-Day Girl and she gave the green light for Peter to crash the party. He arrived after an hour or so; lucky for me, he didn't make any public displays of affection. 'Tho on the next cigarette round Paul, the cute guy, asked me if Peter was my man-partner. It was so hard not to laugh - who the F says 'man-partner'? No, not my partner, I said. Just a man.

So, even 'tho Peter was sitting next to me, touching my ancles every now and then, giving me sexy compliments in a lowered voice, Paul and I still kept on the game of smiles and cigarettes. No doubt that Peter noticed it since on many occasions he appeared in the kitchen when my smoke was half way down or so. At first, he just came there and started chatting with the people there, but later on he even grabbed a cigarette. He's a non-smoker. But he never found anything compromising since all we did was talk. Among other things Paul regretted that I haven't gone out with their 'gang' before, and later on even asked me to go on a late night walk. I knew that would've been too much since Peter was there and invited by me after all so I made some silly excuse to pass the offer.

Couple of guests left around 4AM and so did me and Peter. We got a ride to Peter's place; I hadn't been there for a couple of months but nothing had changed. That's when small weird things started appearing. Let me hug you properly first, I didn't get to before. I've longed for it ever since we last met. He held me long and tight. Now, there is nothing wrong with hugging. I love hugging. I really am a big hugger. But Peter isn't, or at least hasn't been with me. Putting his arms around me - sure; a quick hug when meeting or the street - usual; holding me like that apart from during intercourse - never.

He then went to the bathroom for a quick shave - his beard grows really fast so what other men call a three-day-beard, he has by night after shaving in the morning. He always shaves before coming to bed with me so he wouldn't scratch me. I once told him it's not necessary but he said that a smooth face will undoubtedly be more pleasurable for me, and what was there to argue. Anyway, it was just as I thought it would be. Good, better than average definitely. But not anything special. No mind blowing orgasm, no shooting stars, no heavens. At least not for me. He, on the other hand, came faster than usual AND was all cuddly afterwards - again, something I used to pursue but he didn't use to come along with.

And a few more notes I made: it is very common for him to ask me if I'm comfortable and to make sure he's not hurting me in any way and such. I've also listed you some of the ways he has called me in an earlier post. That night I heard two for the first time. With the forementioned questions. Darling and Honey. He has always avoided expressions and acts that are common to closer relationships. It was he who said on our second date that he is not looking for anything serious at this time. That the perfect relationship in his eyes is a great friendship with the bonus of great sex. He reminded me that every once in a while.

At first I was sure I can break through but at some point I understood that I won't. Plus things got more and more serious with John so for quite some time now I haven't been attracted to Peter anymore thus I decided to have the same attitude as him. Why wouldn't you have sex with a good friend if both know it won't lead to anything else? It's the same as going to the movies, to the park, eating out, playing games or whatever else with a friend. It can be very fun but definitely not as special as with the person you have feelings for. With the person you're attracted to, you can watch snail race and have a blast.

The next morning he had some work to do so he woke up and went to his laptop. I took mine to his bed. He made some calls and then told me he had to leave for a meeting but I could stay if I wanted to - he would show me how to put on the alarm. Actually, I had been waiting for a chance to leave so I had no intentions of staying. We walked together for some time and when I had to take a turn, he gave me a kiss and said that he has some busy days coming up so he doesn't know when we could meet again. I was going to attend a wedding on the weekend anyway so I told him I was busy, too. I'll call you some time then, OK? he said. Go ahead, and off I was.

As said, that was on Friday. Again, didn't have to wait for two weeks. On Tuesday around ten he sent me a text asking how was the wedding. It was great. His next message was full of offers: would I like a nightly burger or some mineral water (I had a hangover) or a hot bath or to watch a silly comedy. I turned him down, saying I was really tired and that I hadn't planned on meeting anyone anymore so I had just had some fish. He then sent me another text saying that fish is cool and that he is rather tired, too, so it's ok for me to go to sleep. And if I couldn't fall asleep I would let him know so he could nestle with me and snore along. First of all, I don't snore. Second of all, that has not happened before. I remember offering him just sleeping side by side when he was too tired for any kind of action. He never would, he always found some more excuses. I did not answer that one. I did not have a problem falling asleep, either.

It seems to me that the two-week-rule has become the four-days-rule. I got a text from him the past Saturday. I just had a little piece of fish and thought (not the first time today) about You. Are you having a good time? Well, he sent that around 11PM. I read it 6:30AM. And answered him where I was and that I was having a blast. Haven't heard from him ever since but if the new rule is true, he should be contacting me on Wednesday.

Oh, and about Paul. We didn't exchange numbers or anything but I heard from the B-Day Girl that most of her friends are asking almost daily when will I be going out with their 'gang'. I have already been invited to a few of their parties but I was out of town each time. Anyway, this turned out another marathon post but I really wanted to get that Peter story down. The next is the wedding weekend story, or as much I can remember about it.

Love,

Passion