Monday, December 21, 2009

John: Lovesick

About a month (well, exactly a month) ago I promised to post about John. I told you the barebones of what had happened and was planning on making a longer post of it but it really isn't of any importance anymore.

During the past month we've barely made contact. A few weeks ago he seemed alarmed about me not communing with him but I told him my laptop was broken and that I had been rather busy. Which was true.

A couple of weeks passed without him making any attempt to reach me so I assumed he was either resentful or just not interested. As I had promised myself (and also told him about that) I was not going to contact him first - I have nothing against spending time with him but I am not the one to go after him.

Last week on Saturday he couldn't bear it anymore and broke the silence. Well, I saw it just as him contacting after a long time but that's the way he took it. A few minutes past 4 o'clock in the morning I received a text message from him. I wasn't sleeping well that night so the vibrations of the phone woke me up immediately.

He asked me if I was willing to go on a cruise with his daughter. That was it. I thought he wanted me to go and escort her or something, as she is underage and I would be a good choice since she knows me and we get along well. So I replied that it would be a very nice Christmas present.

We exchanged a few more petty messages during the next couple of hours until he finally sent one that was absolutely ridiculous. I am tired of waiting after you. And yet I do. WHAT??? YOU waiting for ME???? I really didn't know if I should laugh or cry.

So this was my answer: There is no way I could reply this without being acrid. So rather I ask, what have you been waiting for? Well, then he decided he's not waiting for anything but that our 'last and only' chance to be together would be going on the cruise just the two of us, without the daughter.

With the next few messages he tried to take it to the relationship matters but I let him know this was not a phone talk and that I was going to sleep since I only had a few hours until the alarm. As usual, this led to him calling me. Six o'clock in the morning. We talked for about an hour.

As it turned out, John and his wife had broken up. And that he misses me terribly. And that he is lovesick for me. And that he is crazy about me. My answer to the last three? 'That's a normal reaction to wanting something you don't have'. 'Maybe,' he agreed. 'But I don't think so.'

He was in town later that day but I was really busy. Since he had wanted to see me 'so bad' I managed to give him half an hour. And again, as usual, he didn't talk about anything important. Just some pointless work related small talk. As usual.

We did agree to go on the cruise together and he booked it today. We're going to go in the middle of January and it's his Christmas present to me (or a Birthday present.. or both, I don't remember which word he used).

The boarding is Thursday evening, the ship sails from our capital to the other capital by the next morning. We'll spend a day there (he knows the city so he's doing all the planning) and then start our way back in the evening, bringing us back to homeland by the next morning. He's already scheduling a museum for the morning, then lunch and after that shopping. Works for me!

Old love has not awaken in me yet but I don't have anything against spending time with him either. We'll see.


Love,

Passion

Thursday, December 17, 2009

The Ball

No romantic hotel rooms, no proposals, no mind-blowing kisses - meaning nothing overly exciting.

I decided to go without a date since I was part of the organizing team and I wanted to be able to mingle around. Bringing a date outside of the company didn't seem like a good idea since I would've had to pay him too much attention so he wouldn't feel lonely.

I was looking around, sipping champagne, making sure who had already arrived and what were they up to. And then I spotted William. He was talking to our colleague but right next to them were some of the girls I knew. Most naturally I went there to chat with the girls, standing right next to William. Soon enough I was engaged in both conversation - the one with the girls and the one with him and the colleague.

After the colleague left he made some compliments to the girls but then suggested we'd step aside so we could chat better. He bought me a drink and a truffle. So I went from champagne and people-watching to Martini and William-watching. Unfortunately I had some duties so after a quite a long talk we went our separate ways.

There were hundreds of people there and we both had a lot of people to talk to so we didn't get any more time for ourselves. Some people have become a little suspicious about him openly favoring me anyway so maybe it was for the best. This also means neither of us kept the promise to dance with the other.

As I was strolling around, stopping here and there for chats and cheers, I greeted one of my colleagues. As William had left rather early, this young man became my companion for the rest of the night. So why don't we call him the Ball Boy for now. 'Where are you heading?' he asked me after I smiled at him with a nod. 'Nowhere, just wondering around. You?' I asked back. 'The same. I'll walk with you to the other side,' he told me.

As we were perambulating through the hallway, I asked him where his companion was since I knew he had a girlfriend. Instead of saying she was at home as had said the last guy I asked, he pointed at me: 'Right here.' I just smiled in silence, flattered yet not knowing what to say since we've never had exactly too close of a relationship.

Soon enough we were standing next to the dance floor, chatting away. He, too, offered to buy me a drink. Why would I ever say no to a Martini served by a charming gentleman? We talked mostly about work and politics. We even made some work related agreements. And then he finally asked me to dance.

After the dance we kept on chatting. Then it was time for the cake and Calvados so we joined others. From there on we hung around in a bigger group, drinking Calvados and having some good laughs. When there was only half an hour left until the end of the ball I decided that only one dance throughout the whole night most certainly will not do for me.

The Ball Boy is rather tall and I was wearing unusually low-heeled shoes so I rose to my tiptoes and asked him quietly if it could be my turn to ask him to dance. He obviously liked spending time with me since he hadn't left my side since that first chat but the eager way he said 'yes' was still a delight.

Another song passed after that one when he suggested we should dance some more. 'Let's use the last minutes to the fullest,' he said with a smile. So we stayed on the dance floor until the last song was played and the party was over.

Our dancing was more like bringing the weight from one leg to the other and slightly turning the same time but being really close while doing so. As I said, he was rather tall and I had only 4-5cm heels. Meaning I couldn't see over his shoulder. I did look to the sides every now and then but it was actually kind of comforting to just stare at his chest and feel his hand caressing my back. This way it felt like it was just the music and us - I knew that others were there, too, but they weren't in my focus at all.

After the ball a lot of people went to a night club to have an after-party. We had missed the time where free tickets were handed out so I got two from an elderly couple who had took the tickets but now had decided to go home instead. One for me and one for the Ball Boy. He got us a cab and to the club we went.

The party sucked. The music was awful, the people hideous. There was someone driving his direction so the Ball Boy went home quite soon, thanking me for a wonderful night. I think I left around fifteen or twenty minutes after him. I haven't seen him since but we have changed a couple of work related e-mails. Fortunately no awkwardness between us.

So, as I said in the beginning, nothing overly exciting. Yet I enjoyed the night. I'm also going to see what's the deal with the Ball Boy. He had made me a compliment about looking very beautiful just the night before the ball so maybe his interest in me wasn't just a breeze. If so, I'll probably encourage it. Wouldn't be like me not to, right?


Love,

Passion

Thursday, December 10, 2009

William: As Adorable As Ever

William called me yesterday. 'I had the feeling that you wanted to see me today so I thought I'd give you a ring,' he said, as charming as ever. Unfortunately I was out of the country and the plane was not to arrive before half past midnight.

'That's too bad. 'Tho it would be nice if I'd come to the airport with flowers to pick you up, wouldn't it? That might even make it to the magazines,' he said with a little amount of bravado in his voice. 'Yes, and that would be oh-so-fun, wouldn't it?' I laughed back. So we agreed to call again today.

It was already evening and I didn't think he would call anymore. About five minutes before nine I heard my phone making an unusual sound - his ringtone is the only one specially customized since he sent me the special ring himself. After finding out I was available I heard the worst words a woman can hear when in domestic clothes, messy hair and last night's make-up. 'I'll be down in five minutes.' 'What???' I asked since I was hoping he actually had said at least fifteen. 'O.K. seven.'

He was there in two minutes and I was ready in twelve. We went out to a nice little coffee shop, had some tea and chatted for a couple of hours. He told me he was going on a vacation with his wife and kids on Monday for a whole month so he'd thought we could meet up for a chat before that.

We will probably never stop sitting for a couple of minutes in the car in front of my house whenever he takes me home from places - it has become kind of a tradition. We're attending the same ball on Sunday so I asked him to save a dance for me. He told me he'd save a few and I promised I'll save him a few too, then.

And yes, I did get my kiss.


Love,

Passion

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Frankie: A Little Hasty, Perhaps

It was already around six o'clock in the evening on the day of my last post. I had been waiting for Frankie to call all night long so I finally decided to send him a text. Before I had finished the first sentence the phone rang. It was Frankie, calling me to tell he had already gone grocery shopping but now is missing another pair of hands in the kitchen.

We live in walking distance from each other and he met me half the way. Not only he gave me a kiss but he also grabbed my hand as we were walking towards is flat. None of the men I've told you about before have ever done that. Peter usually gave me a quick little kiss when we met on the street but other wise no public displays of affection at all. None. Nada. Zilch. (Well, I don't blame the ones that have wives/girlfriends.. and most of them do.)

We made dinner together, we had dinner together, we watched some TV together. Every now and then he would pull me in and kiss me ever so gently yet with such an inner passion. At one point the show we had been watching was over. So there we were, sitting on the couch, kissing. I was really holding back giggles since I actually couldn't even remember my last 'making out on the couch session'.

At some point we weren't on the couch anymore. We were standing in the middle of the room. Kissing. Just for the record, what ever we did, we were kissing constantly. My chin was red for whole two days thanks to his five o'clock shadow. (Actually, I think it was more kind of like the five o'clock shadow of the second day)

He started hustling me towards The Bed, taking just inch-long baby steps. Once we got there he supported my back and laid me down. As you remember, all that was done while non-stop kissing. I can vaguely remember some clothes flying in different directions but I sure do remember what came next.

Do you, girls, recall the episode no 82 (The Catch) of Sex And The City where Carrie meets Harry's best man a.k.a Jack Rabbit before Charlotte's second wedding? Well, I didn't get any neck injuries but anyway.. need I say more. If you don't remember the episode, don't read the plots. You have to watch it.

After that we just laid there for a couple of hours - looking at each other, caressing each other, kissing each other. In the morning he suggested I could stay there until he came back from work but that already got me a little alarmed. So I decided to go home.

When he got off work we met for a half an hour since I was going the same way as was his way home so we went together. I then went for a meeting and he went home.

Tuesday night we met at a bar to just hang out with a couple of friends a little and at one point he decided that for him it was time to go. Since we live in the same directions I left at the same time. Half way to my place he asked me if I wanted go home or to his place, perhaps. Well, If you'd invite me, I'd come, I told him as innocently as possible. Would you pleaaase come to my place? he said in a voice you usually hear children use when they try to convince their parents to buy them something nice since, you know, they've been soooo good.

I did go. I had another encounter with Jack Rabbit but I actually think it's not a permanent issue. I think just needs some guidance and actually has potential to improve. He probably just hasn't had too much of experience and probably no guidance at all. And that's exactly why usually don't get too involved with young boys! I do want to be a mommy some day but that to a child not a man.

The next morning I went home again just to come back later in the evening. We watched Enchanted and just slept in each other's arms. He was probably a little puzzled by the fact that for the first time I didn't get naked for sleep but kept my underwear on but he didn't ask or try anything so I didn't have to have the 'sometimes women bleed talk' during the first week.

Thursday morning I left with him as he went to work as always. As I had a meeting just after he got off from work again we had a short walk together and that was it. On Friday he asked me out but I busy preparing for my big day on Saturday. On Saturday he first asked me out and then asked me to go to his place when I got back in town but since my bus came in late I got home at five o'clock in the morning I decided to stay home. On Sunday I had some family time and got home late again.

Yesterday morning we agreed to meet later in the night. I was tired and didn't really feel like going anywhere so I thought to myself I wouldn't contact him myself. If he did, I'd go. Around ten o'clock in the evening I got a text from him. It turned out his appendix was just about to be removed.

I wanted to go and visit him in the hospital today but right now there are no visitors allowed because of the swine flu. He did text me he was already at home but I had two meetings tonight and was too tired afterwards. I guess I should go by tomorrow.


Love,

Passion

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Frankie: The Young Lawyer

He's got a name now. The Young Lawyer sounds nice, too, but it's not personal enough. And it's way too long. So I give you: Frankie The Young Lawyer. From here on, just Frankie.

As I told you yesterday, after going out during the day we went out in the evening, too. He was at my gate half past nine so we headed towards the Old Town again. Thanks to my miscalculations we took a bit longer walk than planned but that wasn't an issue for neither of us.

We finally settled at a members-only cultural-bohemian place. Oh, in the last post I mentioned him keeping his eyes on the road while chatting on Friday but what I forgot to say was that yesterday at the café he was already making a lot more eye contact. And by yesterday evening he rarely looked away.

Some Cuba Libre + two sets of sparkling eyes = endless chats for hours.

We left around midnight and he told me he'd be walking me home now since he had some paper work to do this morning. We made a little stop on one of the belvederes again and sat on the edge. All of sudden I noticed a strange man coming towards us. I was sure he was going to ask for cash or a cigarette or something but.. He had a rose in his hand and he gave it to Frankie, saying 'Give it to your girl.' And then he left. Maybe his own girl didn't show up, who knows. Ah, who cares, it's beautiful and mine now.

As we got up to move on, he offered me his elbow. So on we went arm in arm. My street came too soon, as usual. I was already looking forward to the goodbye on the gate when I noticed a young woman with a cigarette walking down the street. 'Now that can't be anyone else but my roomie,' I said, suggesting we'd join her for a cigarette.

At the same time I was really happy she got to meet Frankie and really disappointed about losing the last moments of alone time with him. But I knew I won't have to expect any less than perfect prudence from my very best friend. She claimed it was chilly outside and excused herself to go back inside.

After getting rid of the cigarette buds we stopped behind my gate again. This time it wasn't just a quick see-you-later-hug. He held me long and firmly. He then pulled back a little but didn't let go of me. He smiled with his eyes and then kissed me. He looked at me again and then we kissed some more.

His lips were so soft and.. well, I'm so giddy over this I just can't find words to describe it. I was melting like butter in his hands, not to mention feeling lightheaded. Even now, when I think about it, a jolt of butterflies storms through my stomach.

He hugged me again and caressed the back of my head. 'How about cooking tomorrow. You for me or me for you or together,' I heard him saying behind my ear. Since he mentioned somewhere along the conversation during our first date yesterday that her ex-girlfriend wasn't much of a cook (at all) I kept on talking about my GREAT cooking skills both during the day and night dates. So I told him it sounds like a good idea and that he should figure out what he would like to have.

After a bit more kissing he left. He did forget his gloves in my purse so he has to see me again anyway. But the fact he wanted to meet me again on the next dayt is a good thing, right? That tomorrow of his is today by now but it's just morning so.. we'll see what the day will bring.

Love,

Passion

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Random Men: The Young Lawyer

I'm still not sure about giving him a name but I hope it will get a bit more clear in the next few days. He did come to pick me up last night - just before midnight so I was like Cinderella running from the class reunion. While driving back to town we did chat but he kept his eyes on the road.

Back in town we first went to an old ski jump tower waiting for the season. We climbed up the wooden stairs and took a seat for a chat and a cigarette. It was dark and there were old pines all around the tower but over them we had a magnificent view of the lighted town.

We then drove to the other end of the town and took a walk on a long pier. It was dark but the sky was filled with stars, the city lights were shining over the bay and the sound of waves was calming.

Our next stop was a belvedere in the Old Town. A view over the medieval city, snacking on grapes and bananas, all spiced with bass heard from night clubs. Well, the last one wasn't exactly pleasing but it did become part of the memory.

He then drove me home. It was around half past two. We had our last cigarettes and then he escorted me to the gate and gave me hug, saying 'See you tomorrow'. I smiled with a 'You're my hero,' referring to him rescuing me from the party.

The fact he still wanted to meet me the next day was a good thing, right? Yes, it was.

He called me a bit after noon today, asking if I was already awake. I was in my deepest dreams when the phone rang but did I tell him that? No, I'm all up! was what I said. You're not made of sugar, are you? he asked hopefully. It was raining but I let him know I had rubber boots so no worry. He told me he'd be here in a bit less than an hour.

We perambulated for an hour and a half in the Old Town, sharing an umbrella. Our walk found it's ending in a nice little café. The season of hot toddy has definitely arrived so we had some. We ended up chatting for hours.

He walked me home around six o'clock. As we were approaching my house he asked if I was willing to go out with him later in the night. I was just about to say 'Yes, if you're asking', but he beat me to it saying 'If I ask you nicely.'

So I got a hug and a 'See you later' on the gate again. He went home for a nap since he was tired but I'm waiting for him to call any time soon.

The fact he still wanted to meet me later in the night is a good thing, right?

Love,

Passion


Friday, November 20, 2009

Just for The Record

A few words of 'em all.

Peter. I haven't seen him since August but that's only because I haven't wanted to see him. He keeps on texting and calling every now and then but I keep making excuses such as not having time, being busy etc. Last weekend I was at the Uni again, and as it turned out Peter was giving a workshop in the same town on Saturday. He asked me a few days earlier about accommodation there but I told him that my school's dorm is probably full and suggested a few places far away from there. Friday night I was out with my friends when he suddenly called. My first thought? Noooooooo, I have to invite him out now! I was in luck, he didn't ask about my whereabouts at all. He wanted to know how to get to my school's dorm from the main building. Damn! He was in the same building as me for the weekend. He so invaded my territory. AND he was literally neighbours with John. He then called me on Monday. I was at a meeting so I told him to call later. He didn't. Then he sent me a text on Wednesday about being sick for the last couple of days and promising to contact me on Thursday. The reason for wanting to meet me? His soul needs the touch of my feminine irony and charm. His words, not mine. Oh so cheesy.

John. I have a lot to tell you. This needs a separate post. But just so you know what to expect, we've had quite some alone time with him. Drunk and sober, intercourse and no intercourse, here and there. He's tells me he wants to be with me on one moment and panicks about the age difference on the other. I have told him that I don't trust him and that I have nothing against spending time with him but I won't be expecting anything from him. And that's true. I like to be with him but I stopped dreaming about a mutual future quite some time ago. The funny thing is he has barely contacted me this week and I have barely noticed. And now during writing this post I received a text message from him. Love has come over me again :) Ok. So. What do you want me to say? When I don't know what to say or just don't want to answer I like to respond with questions. This time? It goes in cycles alike with economy for you?

Carl. We've found a mutual fondness for vampires. He, too, goes in cycles, I think. Every now and then he gets really enthusiastic and suggests going to the movies some time. This one weekend he even wanted to come over to make movies-food-wine night at my place. I was really busy that night so instead I invited him to a concert I was helping to organise. He liked it and we had fun. We went to dinner with the festival crowd after the concert and then he gave me a cab ride home. That's about it.

Mark. No news. Haven't talked much lately. My brother is a trainee at the company he works in at the moment. Thanks to him for that!

William. I saw him on Tuesday. The first time I saw him after that kiss. We were at the same event and he called a little after the start but I shut the phone off and sent him a text about the first talker already being on. A couple of hours later the event was over. When we finally got to each other through the crowd I greeted him with a hug. He hugged me back and gave me a kiss on my temple. He also had something to give me. It was a wooden box. I went through hell trying to open it at home but when I finally did, it was worth it. Sorry girls, no pearls or diamonds. Just a bottle of good wine.

Random men. I've been e-mailing with this young lawyer for past couple of weeks. Just chatting about the matters of the world, all through irony and friendly sarcasm. He seems smart and funny. I asked from a mutual friend about him and she told me nothing but good of him. A couple of days ago he asked me about my weekend plans. I told him I was attending a school reunion Friday night but don't have any other plans for the rest of the weekend. He proposed going on a walk. I like walks, I told him. This morning we exchanged numbers via Windows Live. I told him a little about the reunion I was having tonight. I told him I'm not exactly too eager to go - not that I don't want to be with the people there but it's being held at a place about 50 miles out of town which means I have to stay overnight. I prefer sleeping at home. And he told me he could come and pick me up if it got too bad. He's really cute. I hope he becomes worthy of having a name instead of being a random man.