Sunday, August 2, 2009

Troubled

It has been only a week and a couple of days since my last post and things already have got so much more complicated. I have no idea what it's all about and what the future holds. But let me walk you through the time since the previous post.

As you know, by Friday I knew he was getting better and had received my messages. Him not answering me was rather troubling and made me quite anxious. I tried convincing myself I'm just imagining things but.. Anyway, driven by trepidation I sent him a text telling him to at least let me know if I shouldn't bother him anymore. Sounds childish, I know, but at that point I felt I have to do something and the usual how-are-you-messages didn't give any result.

Saturday night was the first time he contacted me since the short text on Monday. He called me. I could sense that things weren't right, there was this weird hesitation not to say callousness in his voice. He was at his class reunion and mainly talked about that as trying to avoid talking on more important subjects. The tears I had been holding back for the past week came pouring like rain. I hate the way men can be - he asked me if I was crying and I told him it was just cold; he believed me. Actually, I'm sure it was just the ever so manly way to use the easy way out since which man wants to deal with a weeping damsel.

Finally he got it out: we need to meet and talk at some time. Didn't sound too promising, to be honest. He told me he would contact me in a few days and let me know when could we do it. We ended the call shortly after that and I felt like crap. I was even more anxious than before and there was only one question twirling in my head: what does he want to talk about? It was absolutely unbareable so I decided to call him back and ask if he was going to tell me something negative or positive.

"I didn't want to talk about this on the phone but.." he started.


... to be continued. Family barbeque awaits.


Love,

Passion

4 comments:

Leanin'2thaleft said...

dont seem to good,keep your chin up,everything will be ok,not the end of the world

Passion Fruit said...

Thank you for the good wishes. It is not the end of the world nor the end of our story.

Cocaine Princess said...

I'm so sorry John wasn't able to sense through an emotional connection the real reason why you were in tears.

Whatever has happened and I can't wait to read about it, I wish every ounce of luck to both you and your John.

Passion Fruit said...

I think he probably understood where my tears were coming from, he just didn't know what to do about it since he knew as well that he was the cause.

And thank you, luck we really need. :)